Mother Tabbyskins

Sitting at a window,
In her cloak and hat,
I saw Mother Tabbyskins,
The real old cat!

Very old, very old,
Cruplety and lame;
Teaching kittens how to scold —
Is it not a shame?

Kittens in the garden,
Looking in her face,
Learning how to spit and swear,
Oh, what a disgrace!

Very wrong, very wrong,
Very wrong, and bad;
Such a subject for our song,
Makes us all too sad.

Old Mother Tabbyskins,
Sticking out her hand,
Gave a howl, and then a yowl,
Hobbled off to bed.

Very sick, very sick,
Very savage, too;
Pray send for a doctor quick,
Any one will do!

Doctor mouse came creeping,
Creeping to her bed;
Lanced her gums and felt her pulse,
Whispered she was dead.

 Very sly, very sly,
The real old cat,
Open kept her weather eye —
Mouse!  Beware of that!

Old Mother Tabbyskins,
Saying “Serves him right,”
Gobbled up the doctor,
With infinite delight.
“Very fast, very fast,
Very pleasant, too —
What a pity it can’t last!
Bring another, do.”

Doctor Dog comes running,
Just to see her beg;
Round his neck a comforter,
Trousers on his legs.

Very grand, very grand —
Golden-headed cane
Swinging gaily from his hand,
Mischief in his brain!

“Dear Mother Tabbyskins,
And how are you now?
Let me feel your pulse — so, so;
Show your tongue — bow wow.”

“Very ill, very ill.”
“Please attempt to purr;
Will you take a draught or pill?
Which do you prefer?”

Ah, Mother Tabbyskins,
Who is now afraid?
Of poor little Doctor Mouse
You a mouthful made.

Very nice, very nice,
Little doctor he,
But for Doctor Dog’s advice
You must pay the fee.

Doctor Dog comes nearer,
Says she must be bled;
I heard Mother Tabbyskins
Screaming in her bed.

Very close, very close,
Scuffling out and in;
Doctor Dog looks full and gross —
Where is Tabbyskins?

I will tell the moral
Without any fuss;
Those who lead the young astray,
Always suffer thus,

Very nice, very  nice,
Let our conduct be;
For all doctors are not mice,
Some are dogs, you see!


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